Home » Uncategorized » Five things I can’t explain

Five things I can’t explain

  1. Why there are often random shoes on the street.  It’s always just one, never a pair, and they are just lying in the middle of the road.  Recently, a black flip-flop has taken up residence on a street I drive every day.  Where did it come from?  How did it get there?  Where is its mate?
  2. Why there is often random clothing on the street.  And why is it almost always a black t-shirt?
  3. Why school cafeterias always serve corn with pizza.  I thought this was just something that happened at my school, but, nope, after consulting with people who attended public schools all over the country, it seems that the pizza-corn combo is de rigueur.  Why?  Some things just naturally go together:  Peanut butter and jelly, beans and cornbread, bacon and eggs, gin and tonic.  But to my knowledge you can’t call up Papa John’s and order a side of canned corn with your pepperoni pizza.
  4. Why the label on the Angostura Bitters bottle doesn’t fit properly.  They’ve got a lot of verbiage on there, I get it.  But edit that shit down or make the bottle bigger or something.  It looks like they didn’t really think things through very well.
  5. Why a strange message randomly appeared over a video I was watching 30 years ago.   It was 1983 and my brother and I were watching videos on MTV (yes, MTV used to actually show music videos!).  The Kinks’ “Come Dancing” came on, and within a few seconds a graphic suddenly appeared on the screen.  It said “You’re Out Cheesy” in large, white letters and flashed on and off for about a minute or so as the video played.  Then it was gone.  Was it a transmission from another planet?  A message from God?  Who or what was “Cheesy”?  And what were they out of, exactly?



4 thoughts on “Five things I can’t explain

  1. The random shoe observation reminded me of Jeff Dunham, the ventriloquist. In an old show, his character “Peanut” was wearing only one shoe.

    Jeff: Peanut, I see you lost a shoe.
    Peanut: Nope, I found one.

    On another note, when I lived in Florida, over a 2 week period, I found a bra, men’s boxers, one black sock, a work glove, a woman’s sandal and a cowboy hat in the street in front of my house.

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