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What’s that you say?

Many years ago, Gavin Edwards wrote a series of books that collected misheard song lyrics.  My friend Amy and I once spent a ridiculous amount of time sprawled out on the floor of a Barnes and Noble hooting at these things.  I bought one of the books and later we saw in the back of it that you could send the author your own mondegreens (yes, there’s actually a term for this), so she and I set about listing our own listening errors.  At some point we came to the realization that we were essentially doing the author’s work for him–for free–so we just put the list aside and, most likely, turned our full attention to drinking.

So, for something like 18 years now I’ve had all these mistaken song lyrics that I’ve had no idea what to do with.  This blog seemed like a good place to share some of them.  Although I’m still not getting paid for my work.

–          Natalie Cole’s “I Miss You Like Crazy”:  I heard “I guess you like daisies” instead of “I miss you like crazy”

–          Everclear’s “Santa Monica”:  I heard “I don’t want to be your still pickin’” instead of “I don’t want to be your stupid game”

–          Modern English’s “Melt with You”:  I heard “Confucius, open wide” instead of “The future’s open wide”

–          The Pointer Sisters’ “Jump (For My Love)”:  I heard “You’re the perfect size” instead of “Your love burns inside”

–          Bad Company’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Fantasy”:  I heard “Here come the Jetsons, 1, 2, 3” instead of “Here come the Jesters, 1, 2, 3”

–          Waylon Jennings’s “Ain’t Living Long Like This”:  I heard  “I’ve got that long, white beard” instead of “Ain’t living long like this”

–          The Beatles’ “Day Tripper”:  I heard “She’s a prick teaser” instead of “She’s a big teaser”

–          Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance”:  I heard “Red wine” instead of “RedOne”

–          Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance”:   I heard “And we’re all getting hoes tonight” instead of “And we’re all getting hosed tonight”

–          Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance”:  I heard “So many women without a bra” instead of “So many women without a flaw”*

*Clearly, I had a lot of trouble with this song.  The sad thing is that I didn’t realize just how wrong I had the lyrics until I looked them up online.

I know you guys have some great mondegreens of your own.  Post yours in the comments section so everyone can wonder what the hell is wrong with your hearing, too.

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6 thoughts on “What’s that you say?

  1. I knew a guy who thought The Police said “I spit in my cereal bowl” instead of “we are spirits in the material world”. Wish I could claim it as my own, very inspired!

  2. I love these! I was working at JBB when these came out, and we booksellers spent many a slow evening singing mondegreens to each other. As someone with an actual hearing deficiency, I gave up on knowing actual lyrics when I was 8. I am still figuring out songs from the 1980s that I listened to ad infinitum. Basically, if the words weren’t included with the album/cassette/CD, I had no clue.
    My favorite mondegreen, one that I wish were true, is from Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed.” When he sings, “Maybe I’m a lonely man Who’s in the middle of something,” I thought he was saying, “”Maybe I’m a lonely man Who’s never made love Sunday,” like he always went to church and had dinner with the family on Sundays instead of staying in bed all day makin’ love. That’s kind of how I always imagined Paul, the dutiful good boy son.

  3. Neither of these are mine but I remember them well.

    – from Paul Young — instead of “Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you” a friend thought he was saying “…you take a piece of meat with you.”

    – from Mr. Mister — an ex-GF thought “Kyrie Eleison down this road that I must travel” was “carry a laser down this road that I must travel.”

    And I must say, “Here come the Jetsons, 1, 2, 3…” Love it!!

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