The other night the husband and I were channel surfing when we landed on a church service on a cable access station. This was a fancy-pants, African-American church with lots of brass and velvet and a preacher in flowing robes. We don’t typically (well, ever) watch local church services on TV, but we felt compelled to stop and check this one out because we heard the minister say something about a llama.
At first, I thought that I had misunderstood (because, you know, lots of words sound like “llama”) or that he was going to read Llama Llama Red Pajama during his sermon for some weird reason or that maybe “llama” referred to some sort of animal-sounding religious person, like a cardinal. As I was trying to work this out, suddenly some farmer-looking woman was leading a real, live llama up to the ornate altar.
I used to attend a Unitarian Universalist church, and if this had happened there, no one would have thought this was in any way strange. In fact, I’m pretty certain that I attended a service there once where someone did bring a llama (but I think it was kept outside). I also once went to a llama festival in Utah that was put on by Hare Krishnas. I don’t know what llamas have to do with Hare Kirshnas (seems like rabbits should be their thing given their name), but whatever. These folks were clearly not UUs or Hare Krishnas.
I wanted to watch a bit longer to see what was going on, especially since the preacher was obviously afraid the llama was going to bite him, and I figured there was a good chance that that llama might poop on the plush carpet at some point. However, my husband apparently doesn’t share my interest in llama-based religious services and clicked over to something else. While he was laughing it up at The Soup, I kept wondering about that llama. I’ve come up with a few theories:
a) “Llama” was incorrectly translated as “donkey” in the Bible. Which totally changes the mental image I have of the Christmas Story and Palm Sunday.
b) Is Your Mama a Llama? is actually a religious tale disguised as a children’s book.
c) Llamas are some kind of new trend in churches, like services with rock bands and facilities with gyms.
d) It was meant to be a visual punchline to a joke that begins, “Why did the llama go to church?”
I really have no idea. So, dear readers, I’m asking you. Why would there be a llama at church?
While you’re thinking about that, enjoy this song about llamas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbPDKHXWlLQ